At the beginning

 Once upon a time does not seem appropriate for this story......

Because this story really starts in my twenties. In my mid twenties i found myself very lost in my mind, body and soul. I quickly went from being married with a family to homeless with not even two pennies to rub together. My parents, siblings, friends and my chosen family had all turned their backs to me with a stance so heavy that i begged, pleaded for their forgiveness only to receive a very cold shoulder that continues to this day. I grieved for years over this treatment even after i have corrected my ways that caused them to react in this manner. My heart ached for their love, i longed for their family connection again. I longed for my friends again. But, alas, it would never come!

My family are doused in the Jehovah's Witness cult. When a person that is raised in the cult goes against their beliefs and principles.....they die spiritually and sometimes physically! I felt abandoned again. The first time i was abandoned was by my bio mother just before my 7th birthday. 

Spiritually, i felt like i was drowning! Spiritually, physically and mentally i was a hot mess! My life was so upside down! It is difficult to separate all the avenues of feelings that i had at the time. They are so intertwined with the each other that it becomes a blur!

Hopelessness, abandonment, despair, desperation, and utter loneliness! I was told by my father that God had abandoned me due to my disobedience.

To be continued........

My book